I recently wrote an email to my step-sister who is newly engaged and planning her wedding. I wasn’t asked for my advice, but you know, when you’ve just finished a chapter in your life,you’ve had time to reflect. With reflection comes insight.
My hope is that by sharing most, not all, ( I had to keep some things private lol) of my email that I sent, I’ll be able to share with you my readers, a chapter of my life that was, yes…stressful and emotional; But it was also one of the best chapters of my life so far.
Perhaps some of you will relate?…And perhaps, some can share, and help someone just starting their wedding planning journey. Hope you enjoy good people…Staci J
First, congratulations! John and I are super pumped for you guys. We definitely understand the feeling of waiting for something for so long, and now, it’s here. Well, almost…You have a wedding to plan!
I know you didn’t ask, but I felt like I just needed to share with you some things I learned along my wedding journey, that I wish someone close to me, would’ve told me. Nothing too crazy, but I do think if you stick to some of these things, you’ll not have some of the regrets I have.
#1. This is YOUR day. I had such an overwhelming pressure that I felt to try and please everyone. To not step on any one’s toes; make everyone happy, and comfortable…and yet, have the day the way we really wanted it.
It is totally impossible to please everyone. This is your memory, and your special day. There were nights I just cried and cried and then sobbed, because I wanted to do certain things, but they were just too difficult of a conversation to have with people. So I either did something the way others wanted me to, or I didn’t do what I wanted at all. And I regret that. John and I missed out giving other people an opportunity to have a special moment with us, because I wanted to try and make everyone happy. Don’t feel bad about what you want.Your wedding day is a reflection of your relationship, so be unapologetic for your vision.
#2. If I had to spend money over again, I would never spend money on flower centerpieces, and I would’ve spent more money on a better photographer, and I would highly, highly recommend having a video done. My video is like the best money I ever spent. Plus, it gives you an opportunity to see things in your own wedding you would’ve never been able to see. Flowers….I only got flower centerpieces because my Mom loves flowers. It was a waste of money. They all ended up at her house, and died like 3 days later. Pinterest has amazing ideas for great centerpieces that you can make. (And I will help you make anything! Just ask!)
#3. Get pre-marital counseling. John was not crazy about this (why try and fix what’s not broke he would say to me) but it gave us both an opportunity to talk about everything. It was really great for us, because we discovered that we thought we were totally on the same page on certain topics, but when asked specific questions, we found we felt slightly different, and we had a chance to be honest, and have a 3rd person there to help us talk things out.
#4 Be super pumped! You’re getting ready to marry the man you love! You’ve lived through a lot together already, and persevered to be in this season of life, so enjoy! And no matter what they tell you, marriage is different than dating. I woke up one day, and was like “Wow. This is it. I’m ALL in this now.” But you know what, so is he. And that sister, is a great feeling. You’re getting married on purpose!
If there is anything I can help you with, anything you want to chat about, ask my advice, etc…just let me know. John and I are here to help in anyway we can. Love you…and enjoy this time….it will move faster than any other season of life you’ve lived so far. Talk to you soon xoxo Staci