We’ve all been there. Working. Selling. Changing. Trying. Pushing forward. Moving up.
Just to be brought back down, because someone criticized you.
Maybe it was a friend, a family member, a client, a business partner.
I don’t think there is a day that goes by, that I don’t get criticized. There isn’t a day that goes by, that I am not compared or judged. As women, most of us, we’ve just accepted that this is just what it is. I used to say, “it comes with the territory!.” When it came to business, I’ve said many times, to myself, “Staci, it’s the rules of engagement.”
I wish someone would have told me, that criticism was going to look and feel far different to me, than men. I have noticed over the years, that when a male colleague of mine has gotten criticized, he leaves the criticism on the outside. When I’ve gotten criticized, it’s as if it seeps into my pores. I think I actually inhale the criticism, and it totally engulfs me. It becomes all I think about. It actually weighs me down. My whole person is affected. In my early years of business, I lost a lot of time, giving the negativity my attention. Not only my attention, but my energy, my thoughts, and often times, it hurt my self confidence. I’d second guess myself.
I wish someone had told me, how to deal with criticism. How to deal with it in the moment and more importantly how to respond to it at the moment of impact. Yes I will share tips and tricks with you. However, the number one way to deal with criticism is with courage.
You have to be a brave woman to put yourself out there! Most women I speak with, they say, “I’m brave enough to start my own business, but I’m scared of what people will say.” My response to that, is, no you’re not. When you decide to make a change, take a risk, do something you’ve only dreamt about, you have to know and ACCEPT that you’re going to receive push back. You’re going to come across people who don’t have your same vision. They don’t see the opportunity as great as you do.
Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way, to help me deal with criticism, and to also help me to be courageous.
- Be resolved in what you want to do and achieve.
– You might think, well, duh Staci! In the beginning you’re going to be all go! You’re going to amped up, you’re going to be excited and you’ll lead the charge. Then the bumps come in your journey comes, the opinions, the comments and eventually criticism. It’s then you begin to feel your confidence shaken, that you go back on your resolution. Erase everything you’ve heard or been told.
- Develop your knowledge.
– Always be willing to improve and develop what you already know. Personal development, studying, reading, and vision boards should be on going. Negativity, critics and criticism never stand a chance against you, when you totally engaged in your goal.
- Turn all criticism in to constructive criticism.
– No, not all criticism is bad. When you have people who are on your team, working with you towards your goal and mission. People who love you, want the best for you, and have some “skin in the game” with you, value their criticism the most. Understand that not everyone, actually most people are not the best at delivering criticism. So although the delivery may not feel the best, be sure to take a deeper look at their message. Ask yourself honestly, “Is what they’re telling me totally wrong?” “ What can I learn or change, that will make an improvement to or get me to the goal faster?”
- Thank people when they criticize you.
– So what you’re telling me Staci is that I should thank someone for their negative comment? – Yes. And then you respond with something like this…”Thank you, I appreciate your observation, but that’s not inline with my vision.”
It takes a courageous woman to do many things. Criticism is not the end of you.